i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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