but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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