Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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