Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
