apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
