last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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