How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
whose parrot is this?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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