Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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