My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
