pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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