I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
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its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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