Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
