The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
