Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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