We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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