I'm gonna have a badass scar
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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