Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
