Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
