I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
