you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
