she smelled like a LAN party
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
please don't ironically join a cult
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