Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hippo gnu deer
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
