things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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