Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
