Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
my liver is dry heaving
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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