you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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