Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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