Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
