Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
