do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
