obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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