There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
