I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How naked do you want me to be?
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