WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
