how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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