i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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