fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
