and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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