In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
