she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!