I am puke
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society