So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
