so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
