We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
