I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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