do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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