Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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