I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize