I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
where am i from again
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize