And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
