I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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