i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
