I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
