What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
