ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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