oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
