And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
