It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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