drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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