at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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