it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
