Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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